Friday, July 14, 2006

Lilly Farmer 1994-2006

Goodbye, dear sweet Lilly Girl.
Lilly meditates.
I will miss you for the rest of my life.

Dear friends, this is a very sad e-mail...

You may or not want to read it all, but many of you have asked to keep
you posted....and we have received so many supportive messages and
phone calls.
We thought we would share with you that
our sweet Lilly passed away last night, at our home, in our bed just
before 10pm.

We are so so very sad today. So empty.
In a state of disbelief and absolute heartbreak.

There aren't enough tears and there aren't the right
word to express how much Lilly meant to us and how much we loved her.
Especially how much we will miss her.

Everything seems wrong right now.... She truly was the center of our home.

We picked her up from the hospital at 8:00 last night and she was
okay. Not great, but holding on. It seemed, though, as soon as we
walked into our
home she started having trouble....Started declining.
We took her upstairs to our bedroom and closed the door and assisted
her as best we could. We hugged her gently, laid by her side, told
her we loved her, gave her kisses and cried our eyes out. Bruce waited
quietly by the door. Luther came in and seemed to say goodbye to his
friend for just a second, then waited outside the door, as well.

She died on our bed right before 10pm. It was traumatic, but she
never cried, we
loved her and kissed her until the end. She died while I was trying
to help her sit up. She was in my arms and Mark was right there helping me.

It was awful to witness, but I'm glad I was there. Her little body
had been through so much in the past week.
I think she was never going to recover. She was just holding on
until we came to get her and take her home. She has never liked being
away from home.

I want to believe we did the right thing...and I do find comfort in
the fact that she is no longer in pain.

We placed her little body in a new bed that we bought for her just
last week and drove her back to the animal hospital. She looked just
like she was sleeping. It was very hard to leave her at the hospital
knowing I'd never see her again, but the nurses and doctors had
treated her so well, I knew she would be treated respectfully. The
staff cried with and were very caring. The put any doubts to rest and
assured us she was ready to go and it worked out the way it was
supposed to.

We are having her cremated, bed and blankets and all, just as we left
her so she will be snuggled up until the very end of her physical
existence. Until there is no more of her left.

I am sick with grief. We can't eat. All we do is cry. It will be
very hard unpacking her photos, of which there are so many. Her
leash is still by the door and I can't bear to even touch it. It is
emotionally wrecking to have been walking only one dog this week.
She had such a big presence, it is painfully obvious how much vacant
space is left in her absence.

Thank you all most sincerely for your kindness, friendship and deep
understanding of our love for the Lilly Girl. She was an
extraordinary soul and I am lucky that fate brought us together. I
will forever be grateful for the experience.

Time will heal us I know....but it's helpful know she had so many
people who loved her and were pulling for her, too.

Humble thanks for being there for all of us.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Alice's Portrait of Lilly

My girl.
She's still hanging in there. Thought she might be coming home tomorrow, but she started having blood pressure problems at 4pm today.
I love her so much.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Update on Sweet Lilly Girl.

Just a little note to ask you you keep up the good vibes, healing
engergy, prayers and efforts to help Lilly get better ...

After several absolutely awful, heartbreaking, and tear filled visits
to the hospital just to see her laying very still and mostly
unresponsive, and most of all to find ourselves doubting our decision
to put her such major surgery.....

We finally had a glimmer of hope tonight.

Only a glimmer, but she seemed to recognize us for what we think is
the first time since Sunday and we each got tiny kisses. She was even
trying to sit up. Not great strides, but it is a step in the right
direction. Until 5pm tonight, the surgeons were concerned that she was
not improving as she should, if she was going to. When we got there
at 9pm improvements were being noticed.

With that said, she is still very very far from being "out of
the woods". We are trying not to be too optimistic, and we honestly
know she may not be coming home at all....but we are holding on to the
idea that even a few hours snuggled in her own bed at home would be
what she would want more than anything, if she could have one last

We aren't expecting a few months anymore, but we aren't giving up the
idea of a homecoming. I have already made arrangements with our vet
to make a house call if we need her.

She is having ventricular arrhythmia which can be fatal at any moment,
and her blood pressure is only slightly above dangerously low, was better than this morning.
Maybe only for a moment.... But it was good.
The best thing is that I'm pretty sure she knew we were there and that
we love her very much and I think she was telling us the same.

Thank you all for your continued love and support, Please don't stop
just yet.. I think it might be working.

Thank you most sincerely from the bottom of my very heavy heart.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Prayer Request for Lilly

I really can't bear to type this, but my Lilly girl had emergency surgery this evening and the vet just called with the news that they removed a 6 pound cancerous tumor from her spleen. They are now trying to find out if it is malignant or benign. In either case, she is in critical condition at the animal hospital and will be there for the next few days, if she can pull through, that is. She lost a lot of blood. The next 24-48 hours are going to be very hard for her.
Many of you reading this know Lilly personally and love her very much, so please, please, please......even if you don't believe in anything......please take a moment right now to send powerful and healing energy to her.
She really need needs your support right now more than ever.

If you could have seen her eyes right before surgery, you would agree with me that she is not ready to die just yet.
She still has things to do.
And we still have love to give her.
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