Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Pre-Derby Sleep Deprivation Post

I was so keyed up last night about Oaks and Derby, and my trip to Louisville for the weekend, that I had a most fitful night's sleep.
I tossed and turned and dreamed some crazy stuff.
Although, Mark would beg to differ that I did any tossing or turning, stating that Lilly and I snored like freight trains all night.

For the record, Lilly and I both deny that claim.

To spare you (somewhat) another very long, non-sensical chain of dream events, I will do my best to keep this short.
You may have noticed by now I have a hard time being concise.
So it may be long, after all, with the good intentions of being short.
However, I will not recite the whole dream analog style. I will list the key images instead.

Without further ado, The Pre-Derby Fitful Dream:

#1) Pier One has come out with clear polyurethane chairs which are flexible, scratch resistant and very comfortable. They are completely see-through and very desirable. They come in short and tall sizes, for short and tall people. Brilliant idea! I was as tickled as Goldilocks when I found the chair that was just my size.

#2) Pier One also now has a enormous lake in center of the store with a real live talking deer that says it's caretakers name, "Reagan", when it needs more food or is lonely. As in "Reagan, I need a new salt lick please."

#3) This deer was the offspring of a very old deer that was also quite intelligent.

#4) Babies will give you a heart attack if you leave them unattended and find them later sitting atop a wall like Humpty Dumpty.

#5) One may not kiss a former college boyfriend, even in a dream.
Especially if you are both married. You may however kiss the inside of his hand and he can save it for later. (How loyal am I? I won't even cheat in a dream? )
My recurring dream boyfriend, Mick Jagger and sometimes dream boyfreind,Joaquin, are celebrities and hence do not count. I may kiss them all I want in dreams.

#6) I do not, I repeat; DO NOT look attractive with short brown curly hair. Even in a dream state this was a disaster of epic proportions.

So with bags under my eyes, and a twinkle in them as well, I'm packing up the seer-sucker suit and fedora (avec smashing grosgrain ribbon) my best madras patchwork pants, some cruising CD's, a baseball cap ('cause the top is DOWN, baby!) and I'm off!

Be back soon..

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you the best part...
I am painting the lawn jockey for Churchill Downs horticulture department again this year.
Yahoo! They pay me $300 and I get two free passes for the whole week, including Oaks and Derby.

I suggested that I should repaint our little guy with the new Derby winner's silk colors on television, immediately after the race. Start a new tradition. Make it more public. More exciting! Make it aBIG deal!

They liked my idea, and were quite amused by it as well.

Apparently, no one has ever asked to be on TV for this...
What? In all those years, no one has ever been filmed performing the annual repainting of the silks???
Seems crazy to me... HA!
What a missed opportunity.

So, needless to say, the details are still fuzzy on whether or not the TV crews will make my plan happen this year... but the seed has been planted.
AND, there's always next year , right?
AND, I suppose, it might take me a while to get them to change 100 years of tradition.

Instead of hamming it up on TV, I will most likely take the little fella home after the last race and paint him and return him on Monday or Tuesday when he's dry.
Not quite as exciting as being on TV, but still fun to be part of the tradition, nonetheless.

I'll find out the details tomorrow, but don't hold your breath.
My SSPEDTI Plan, (Shameless Self-Promotion and Eternal-Derby-Ticket-Insurance-Plan)
is just in the beginning stages.

It's a lofty goal, but you can't win if you don't play!


Blogger Lori-Lyn said...

I hope you get to be on tv!
That part about Reagen, I need another salt lick freaked me out a little bit but also made me a little sad.
You know, I was looking at Derby Pie recipes online today and some of the reviewers were saying things like, "This would be good with butterscotch chips" or "I might try this with walnuts instead of pecans" and it was making me have a heart attack because, DUDE, YOU DO NOT GO CHANGING DERBY PIE!
You have me all excited about Derby and I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
It's not going to rain!
Take lots of pictures!

Wednesday, 04 May, 2005  
Blogger Mandy said...

You're the Queen of The Derby! I hope you're on TV too- I'll be looking for you and your lawn jockey.

Strangely, Reagan and the salt lick made me a little sad too. I think it's because you also said that Reagan would tell his human that he was lonely. I think if he had only used words to express the need for more salt or food that I wouldn't have felt so sad for Reagan.

Thursday, 05 May, 2005  

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