Monday, October 10, 2005

A Report from My New Vantage Point on the Hill

Today I am officially 36 years old.
Contrary to what I may have said in the months leading up to this day,
I'm quite happy to be one year older and wiser...
Although, something does feel rather strange to me today.

Yes, today, on my birthday,
there is surely a strange, unfamiliar, comfort around me...
or within me.
I honestly can't decide which it is, but is present....
And it is unmistakably a shifting of sorts.

Now, what I am not talking about
is my lovely vehicle of flesh shifting due to gravity's inescapable effects...
No, that's not what Im getting at, at all.
I mean, sure, I have a few lines and a few sags here and there that I could do without,
but over all I feel good about myself, by body, my life and where I'm headed.

This is a good period of my life. Maybe the best ever.
I feel, in a way, like I'm just getting started on the main course of the big banquet.

Maybe the strange shifting sensation I feel today is a symbolic one.

Maybe it is the sudden awareness of the absolute lack of pressure to figure out who I am.
Or, on the other hand,
maybe I have finally figured out who I am
and the shift is the sudden realization of
to what extent I care about what other people think of me.

Either way, I'd imagine it's a good thing
when one comes to terms with one's personal vision
of who they are,
and who they are not,
and who they strive to be.

I am proud of what I have accomplished so far in my life,
and simultaneously realize there is still so much more I want accomplish...

It's a relief to discover how my vantage point actually improves
with each year,
as I climb the proverbial hill.

And today's magic of 36 has proven that the air is much clearer up here.

With each birthday, things come a little more into focus for me.
My goals and aspirations don't seem as far away.
They seem less like dreams and more like realities.

Actually, from this strange and new vantage point I find myself looking around and counting the gifts I have been given.

The gift of having a wonderful husband.
The gift of a loving family.
The gift of amazing friends...
and especially and the gift of time,
without which I would have none of the above.

So yeah, 36 isn't so bad.
In fact.....perhaps, 36 is a gift in itself.

Kind of wonderful, don't you think?

6 Comments:

Blogger Lori-Lyn said...

Yeah. It is kind of wonderful. I hope you had a fantastic birthday!

Tuesday, 11 October, 2005  
Anonymous Jill said...

Happy birthday!

Wednesday, 12 October, 2005  
Blogger ch said...

James, why are you so angry? I was only 15 minutes late, and you didn't ever tell me to bring the damn oxygen tank!! I'll be at the gift shop for another 20 minutes or so, and then I'm leaving!

Happy Birthday!

Wednesday, 12 October, 2005  
Blogger anessa said...

Thanks, y'all-- I did have a GREAT day.
: )
xo.

Wednesday, 12 October, 2005  
Blogger Mags said...

Anessa...you are beautiful! I love your writing, your photography....why I hardly know you but through this computer and I Love you!
I think you have an amazing talent, and I think what I strive for at 29 is to be like you when I am 36.....
Your pictures are so fun, fresh and funky, everywhere you take pics I want to be there.....it looks like the most fun/beautiful place...every single pic!!!! Well, I wont keep you! Thanks for all your help on my blog!!!!! Talk to you soon!!!! HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!! Mags

Wednesday, 12 October, 2005  
Blogger anessa said...

Maggie---

Thank you for making me feel so freakin' cool!
Ha! You are too kind.

: )

Thanks!

Thursday, 13 October, 2005  

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