Rest in Peace

Rothko, originally uploaded by Anessa.

**Rothko, my sweet old boy...
You will be very missed.**

Yesterday was a heartbreaking day for our household.
Our cat Rothko was put to sleep at 5:00 after suffering from kidney failure over the past several months.

We had been trying to give him IV's for the past 2 months without much success. He hated having to sit still for us and we hated poking him repeatedly. He eventually became so dehydrated and lost so much weight that he was only 6lbs. He normally weighed about 11 lbs. He was skin and bones.
So fragile. It was pitiful.
The last two days of his life he completely quit eating, lost interest in drinking water and couldn't urinate even though he repeatedly tried. The vet said his kidneys had completely quit working and he was suffering.
Yet, through all his bad health and exhaustion, he still enjoyed getting scratched behind the ear. Which I was I was trying to do when we had him euthanized.

I never thought I would choose to put an animal to sleep, but with encouragement from our very kind-hearted vet, and a good hard reality check, I agreed to do it. It was quite peaceful overall. He did let out a loud meow when the needle of Valium was given, but within moments he was completely relaxed. I don't think he felt anything after that. If he did, I pray it was less painful than his recent existence.

I feel very sad and tearful and strange. I feel quite guilty for choosing to end his life,
but also relieved that he is no longer wasting away and feeling awful all the time.
I have cried a lot which seems to help. Today I put stones on his grave.

Rothko was between 2-5 years old when we adopted him. He lived with us 13 years. He was becoming a very old cat these days. 15-18 years is the best we can estimate. I hope his years with us were okay. We loved him very much, although he was the least social of our pets and many of you didn't even know he existed. He preferred being "behind the scenes", so we let him as best we could. I think we were a bit too animated in his opinion.
A nice, quiet spot in a sunny window were all he wanted. And treats. He liked those an awful lot, too.

Last night we buried him in the back yard. I placed him in his bed and snuggled him in a blanket, tucked in a few treats and a little note telling him he was a good cat and he was loved very much.
He now rests about 3 feet underground.
In the shade of a crepe myrtle tree.
I will miss my old boy and my heart is heavy.
Say a prayer that his next life is a good one.